Archive for May, 2020

Don’t keep score – best relationship advice I’ve ever received

May 30, 2020

A while back I was talking to a friend and he was telling me about all the chores he does at home. It was a lot. He does most of the chores. His wife hardly does anything. I pointed that out to him and said, “Shouldn’t chores be shared equally?” He responded, “We’re not keeping score.”

Don’t keep score – that’s the best relationship advice I’ve ever received.

Holding the breath for intense, system-wide body response

May 22, 2020

I recall reading that the surfer Laird Hamilton would deliberately choose to surf huge, dangerous waves. He said that it is in those moments he is most alive.

Imagine being suddenly confronted by a lion. Your body instantly reacts, flooding the entire bodily system with tremendous energy and alertness. You are completely present in the moment and totally alive.

For several years I have been taking a 10-minute walk after every meal. For the last six months I have been doing breathing exercises while walking: breathe in for a count of four, breathe out for a count of four, repeat. And for the last month I have been doing hold-the-breath exercises while walking: take in a deep breath, hold as long as possible, exhale powerfully. I have found this breath-holding impacts my entire bodily system in a very positive way. I feel my digestion improved. I feel my brain sharpened and alert.

I think there is something to the idea of doing something every day that triggers an intense response by the body. Perhaps not to the extreme indicated in the following quote, but the idea is right, I think: “choosing constantly to face death and choosing to live life in a meaningful way.”